Sabi nila, ang love daw. It should be honest, comforting and pure. For a long moment, I kept on romanticizing the sweet moments na napapanood ko sa mga films. Akala ko, it was easy. Until I fell inlove and it was so complicated. He’s not complicated. It’s the situation.
We have a lot of crazy days
The day we started talking
The day we played games
The day I started to catch feelings
The day I confessed
The day I saw him
The day I talked to him
The day we started opening up to each other
The day we became red flags
Pero yung mga araw na yun, isa yun sa pinaka masasayang araw sa buhay ko. I still wonder, how can he make me smile effortlessly every night we’re talking. He became one of the best part sa buhay ko.
The red flags, I just don’t care how complicated this gets, ang alam ko lang. I still want him despite of those complicated situations. I still want to do everything with him. That struck me so hard as I realized na tinamaan na talaga ako sa taong to. There was a time I was really confused, to choose what is right and what is not. It’s maybe wrong pero sobrang saya ng puso ko with him.
There’s also days where I choose to say goodbye. Nung mga first, second months pa lang na nag uusap na kami. I always end the convo earlier kasi alam ko that day, kapag mas tumatagal yung conversation namin, I won’t be able to save myself from falling. Pero yung mga ways na naisip ko, to say goodbye and to distance myself. It’s not effective kasi palagi, at the end of the day. I always come back.
I don’t know why he always choose to understand that careless decisions. Sometimes, nagiging insensitive ako towards his feelings. I sometimes said hurtful words to him unintentionally. Pero he’s always there to listen pa rin, to understand me. Like, what did I do to deserve him?
As we have those crazy days
Kasabay rin nun yung mga araw na I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s
the day that I realized that I can drop everything just for him.
The day that I realized I love him. The love that isn’t draining and uncertain. Because for once, I know with all my heart. It’s him.
And those days, I’m glad it’s him.
For that reason, gusto kong itama lahat. I know it’s just me. Hindi naman nya ako gusto eh. It’s a one sided story. Hindi pinipilit ang pagmamahal. And with that, love also means letting go.
Pero sa bawat paglet-go ko, sobra rin natatakot yung puso ko. Because the truth is, sobrang ayaw ko lumayo sa kanya. My heart wants to stay. Kasi natatakot rin ako na makalimutan nya ako. Pero letting go isn’t about forgetting, sometimes we just need to move forward by just letting go. I don’t want to be selfish anymore.
It’s just me who wants this at the end of the day.
🥀 